O9 | Digital & Creative

Former Client Swag Mystery Box

$28.00

Artifacts from the golden age of swag and false optimism.

Unseal a mystery box of promotional treasures from clients who once swore they'd "stay in touch."

Inside: branded pens that refuse to write, water bottles that never quite lost the scent of cucumber, and T-shirts with slogans like Innovate Together and Disrupt Responsibly.

Some items arrive gently used from conference giveaways; others are untouched, left behind when marketing budgets vanished mid-quarter.

Items chosen at random. Batteries, integrity, and long-term contracts not included.

FAQ About Our Store

Please review this FAQ carefully, as we have rigorous systems in place to prevent customers from contacting our customer engagement team.

What happens if what I ordered is out of stock?

You will never receive it.

How long does shipping take?

It depends.
Do you offer refunds?

Thank you for your donation.
Can I return an item?

You can try.
What is the point of all this?

We're still looking into it.